Let me be slow.

I need to write some rules down. Maybe "rules" is not a great word... rather guidance. I need to have some guidance written down how to slow down in my life... How to be more alive than I am now. How to be more mindful.

1. Reconnect with my friend. Yes, I have only one friend, but still it is not easy to maintain a relationship in this world and in my life even with that one person.
2. Spend less time in front of my computer, watching TV shows. Instead - read, listen to music, spend time without a monitor.
3. Buy local food, raw ingredients, cook!
4. Have a walk, for christ sake, now and then. I see the world mostly from bus or a car. Use legs!
5. Don't fulfill the empty spots in my life with buying stuff. In most cases, I do not need these things, I am just covering empty spaces.
6. Continue therapy. Simply.
7. Allow people to upset me when they matter. Do not get upset at work. It's not worth it.
8. Have a hobby. Or hobbies. Keep them. Keep knitting, sewing, etc. Just do it.
9. Respect people. Do not assume that their intentions are bad and against me.
10. Do not assume that I need to either win or lose. Life is no war.

Over a year ago, when I was on a plane to Budapest, I read an article about slow fashion movement, so basically: let's sew, knit, buy what's made locally and fair. And then this wonderful weekend came. Full of walking, eating, relaxing, sun and us. And I felt under my skin that I really needed to slow down, make my life 'slow'. From start.

And then I tried. But life goes on unexpectedly. After this year I have much more experience, such as antidepressants, wish to quit a job every week, the change of situation at work, my own wedding, quitting meds, starting a therapy, struggling to get pregnant (unsuccessfully so far).

And somehow and somewhere deep, there is still a wish to slow down in me. To live according to this blog's title - life is a journey, not a sprint. And I want this blog to remind me about that.